You’ve probably heard of the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray. I read the book a couple of years ago and while I thought a lot of it was a bunch of hooey, there is still one concept that I’ve carried with me ever since reading it.

It’s called the Rubber Band Theory. It plays on the idea that like a rubber band, the man will start to want his space and pull back. Instead of chasing after him, the woman should let him have his space, and maybe even pull back a bit herself. With this space comes tension, just like you would see when you pull a rubber band in two separate directions. But the further you pull the rubber band apart, the more strongly it will come together creating an even closer relationship.

At first I thought this was an odd concept. Why would you want to pull away? But then I realized, the opposite of pulling away is when you cling on and seek even more attention=not good. There’s probably nothing more annoying to a guy when a girl is at his beckoning call, waiting, practically begging for his attention. Being a little mysterious, or better yet, being independent is much more attractive than being a girl who has nothing better with her time than to sit around and wait for some of his attention.

It’s not always easy to live like this but I think our relationships will ultimately be happier when we’re not so dependent. Our happiness shouldn’t have to come from our partner–it should come from within. Now hopefully I can take my own medicine!

Keep shining,

The Sunny Girl, Lauren Cook

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