Failure. Loser. Worthless. Disgusting. Unsuccessful. Ugly. Fat. Stupid. Lame. Have you recently labeled yourself as one of these belittling titles? Chances are, you have at one point or another. Maybe last week, maybe yesterday, or maybe even five minutes ago. If so, I can guarantee you that you are not alone… I’m right there with ya! Assigning certain negative labels to ourselves at times is normal and expected, as we’re all human. While we I don’t think it’s realistic to expect to feel confident, secure, and good about ourselves every minute of every day, we can integrate positive thinking into daily routine, which will ultimately add to our happiness, self-worth, and well-being.

Today I wanted to write this blog to help you rid yourself of the negative labels you assign to yourself on daily basis. First, I’d like you to ponder about this idea (you don’t have to necessarily agree with it, just think about it): when you assign a label to yourself (positive or negative) you giving others permission to assign the same label to you. Others are likely (but maybe not always) to view you as you view yourself. How can you expect someone else to consider you smart, brave, caring or confident when you yourself are in disbelief? Think about it.

Over the years I have learned that labels that you assign to yourself can either build or break your self-worth. When you tell yourself that you are beautiful, strong, smart, independent, worthy, etc…you are just that. You are unstoppable. You go through life with an unbreakable confidence and love for yourself because you have thought yourself there. On the other hand, when you tell yourself that you are unlovable, disgusting, worthless, stupid, etc…you have also thought yourself there.

 

So how do we unthink ourselves from somewhere dark? How do we escape from that insecure and lonely jail cell we have locked ourselves into? Well…we break free. We release ourselves. We make a commitment that we will leave our negative labels behind us and instead adopt positive beliefs about ourselves. This doesn’t exactly happen overnight, but it can happen over time if you make progress each and every day. Is this easy? Not necessarily. Is it possible? Definitely.

One thing you can do right now, which will hopefully benefit you from here on out, is pick at least three words from the word list below. Write them on your hand, type them into a note on your cell phone, jot them down on a post-it note to stick in your wallet, or simply store them in your mind. Anytime throughout your day today that you start to assign a negative label to yourself (old or new), whip out your note and repeat: “I am ____, _____, _____.” Until you feel ready to let go of the mistake you made, the harsh judgment you have formed, the negativity you are feeling toward yourself, or the feeling that you don’t measure up in some way.

Positive labels: Beautiful. Smart. Strong. Wise. Learning. Growing. Encouraging. Helpful. Successful. Forgiving. Loved. Bold. Respectful. Confident. Fierce. Unstoppable. Unique. Energetic. Trustworthy. Sincere. Loyal.

You can also start to challenge your negative beliefs. When you start to assign a negative label to yourself, ask yourself, “Am I really a (insert harsh or negative belief) or is this just something I’m creating in my head based on this one particular experience?” Talk yourself through the situation, question your own thinking, and become more self-aware of the way in which you speak to yourself when difficulties or conflicts arise.

If you have trained your mind to think negatively, you will have to work toward retraining it. This takes time. Be patient with yourself. Yesterday, I had to repeat my personal pep-talk FIFTEEN (yes, 1-5) times in a situation where I felt completely defeated. Be persistent. Breathe deeply. Give your mind time and space to welcome in positive (and maybe even foreign) beliefs about yourself. Keep practicing and you can create a more positive self-image from habitual practice and effort.

To end this post, I’ll leave you with a note I jotted down in my journal last night:

“Although I have settled for way less than I deserve, I am not worthless. I have broken down and cried many times, I am not weak. Although I sometimes complain about my deal in life, I am not ungrateful. Although I sometimes put myself down, I am not my enemy. Although I may not look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model, I am not ugly. Although I have made mistakes, I am not a failure.

I am wise, strong, brave, and beautiful. I am human; I am me.”

Happy labeling myself with love,

Jordan Brown

Check out my recently published book, The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life! It’s available as an eBook and soft-cover!