Connecting Positive People
I'm sure some of you daddies have had to deal with potty training. I could sure use some pointers. Our little girl is just over 3 1/2 years-old and is incredibly stubborn about it, it seems like number one is okay to do on the potty, but number two seems to be impossible, complete with screaming and crying. She's a smart girl and understands most of what's going on, she's actually okay with the discipline (taking privilages away) and rewards, but she's still fighting. Pull-ups are kinda expensive... so we could use the help. Any ideas?
I am now a grampa of a 10 month-old, and I don't recall that our daughter gave any problem, but, for what it's worth, I would use cloth diapers to save $$ and let her do the preliminary cleaning of them, before they go into the laundry. No punishment or reward, here, just- "The way life is, sweety, is that we each clean up our own messes."
One thing that always seemed helpful to all who have tried it: Tantrums, upsets, or any whiney attempt to manipulate, got no where with us, except a loving willingness to listen, give space without abandoning, hold, hug... She learned that if she requested something in a reasonable tone, it would be considered, but, no guarantee. Later, we might check back on her request to find she had lost interest. Kids really do want to please their parents, and, if we can muster the patience to be good listeners, punishments are seldom necessary. Often, misbehavior is a cry for attention, and, unfortunately, some parents' response is to withhold the needed attention. (I don't blame such parents; it is what was done to them.) Kids who don't get enough attention tend to be shy, have low self esteem, etc, though they may cover up and become bullies.
Sorry. Did not mean to carry on. I hope I have shared something useful. Good luck!
Thanks for the reply Earl... it's good to be reminded of these things. Just to give an update of the progress: since I've posted this, we have nearly completed the process. And the only reason I've said "nearly" is because the only thing that still applies is the use of pull-ups at night in case of an accident, which honestly hasn't been an issue at all. We gave her the love and the info and let her do it, and she has. She has actually exceeded expectations, she actually started doing it by herself before we were even ready to mention it... now she's in underwear, and is very careful not to mess them. Since then, she has been developing an amazing sense of independence and a strong desire to help mommy and daddy with almost everything in the house (sometimes we even have to tell her not to worry about it and let us take care of it).
btw, thanks Earl for posting here, this group needs more of that.